God, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to serve you and to plan for our newest bible study class and to meet unbelievers who so need your love and light in their lives!  Thank you for a husband who is seeking you, and for devoted sisters in your ministry- all who walk along side me and sharpen me.
Thank you for healing me!  I am believing that your healing work is happening right now, and that you are using everything I am feeling for my good and your glory!
Today I've got some mental fog and mental exhaustion (5).
~stomach pain that kept me awake a lot last night but better now
~ chest pain (2)
~oral ulcers (3)

Got some shopping done!  Got some rest this morning- since he's working nights, so we got to sleep in! (Thank you Lord.) Got to spend some time with our new friend this morning, just listening.  Introduced him to my Love.  Invited him to Christmas dinner.
Hoping to get medical appointments sorted out today and Christmas wrapping done and maybe even some more tree trimming with the kiddos.  The third tree still needs it, and the fourth isn't going to go up this year- I just don't have the energy- BUT got a new garland done for the kitchen, and the homeschool is wrapping up this week, and nearly all family shopping is done already!  Hallelujah!

Thank you Lord for teaching me to be grateful and to love you and seek you with all my heart, even in the pain and fatigue.  Thank you for your healing and grace.

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"Those who plant in tears, will harvest with shouts of joy." Psalm 126:5 

I started with Scripture because the Word of God is alive, and as long as I am here, it needs to be where I begin.  Also, this blog is for me, not just about me.  With brain fog and all of the distraction in life, my goal is to chronicle my journey through both the suffering and healing God has for me.  

I was listening to a sermon recently that set me on my heels.  I've been struggling with chronic illness for about a decade and have been wholly consumed with my pain and illness even when I thought I was focused on Christ, my family, and work. Pastor Michael Easley (who has suffered from chronic pain for years) stated: "When your problem or pain is the most important thing in your life, you are out of focus".  I am out of focus.  I am distractible.  Pain hits, fatigue sets in, my airway starts to constrict, and even if standing in the place God's called me to be, my focus isn't on Christ. Satan can take a circumstance that seems physical, and use it to steal my focus on the spiritual.  Time to stop, recalibrate, and move forward.  

Today my distractions are:

fatigue-6

stomach upset-3

head to toe pain-4

(scale from 1 to 10) 

My accomplishments are:

time with my family

grocery shopping 

dinner in the works

blog started

progress on friend's baby shower

What I missed:  reading my bible.  working the bible study book I'm working on.  

What God's teaching me:

Refocus.  

Love more

Instead of always asking God to change circumstances and people that are difficult, I need to ask him to change my heart.  

Remember healing

Lord, I ask your forgiveness for my sin and distraction.  I pray you do something HUGE in my health and my walk with you with this little blog.  I pray you take it and remind me that you have already attained the victory, that I should consider my pain in the light of eternity and not survive but thrive through you.  I pray for a heart like Paul, to serve through any situation.  I pray to learn more and more about you each time I sit down to write.  I pray that if there is anyone else who needs to read these words, you lead them here.  In Jesus name, Amen!